Self Discipline

That’s right, I want you to just give it up. But before you go crawling back into bed because “Omar said I should give up”, I want you to understand what I’m asking you to give up.

It’s not your dreams, it’s not your drive, it’s not the will to put on pants in the morning and keep hard charging your goals… (Please put on pants today!)

I want you to give up something else. 

One of my favorite breakthroughs I see with my students is when we uncover the hidden ways they’re sabotaging their own success.

Today’s Mind Shift Monday is going to be a dose of tough love- a proverbial kick in the backside if you will. Not because I want to knock you down but because I don’t mind being the friend who says the hard-hitting stuff that’s uncomfortable to hear.

Ready? Brace yourself… 

You’re the one sabotaging your success. You’re the invisible hand holding you back from the life you want.

And I want you to give up the self-sabotaging behavior that’s keeping you stuck where you are.

Self-sabotage often operates under the radar. It’s the silent disruptor that happens at a subconscious level. It shows up in small moments and tiny choices, and it’s so subtle you may not even know you’re doing it.

Ever hit the snooze button a couple too many times and missed that run you were supposed to go for? Or that second piece of cake you knew you’d regret, but you “deserved it” so you ate it anyway.

Most of the time, self-sabotage doesn’t manifest itself through big, dramatic decisions. But every time you don’t do what you say you’re going to do (or should do), you’re subconsciously chipping away at your self-confidence.

You probably show up for the people in your life, right? You meet your deadlines, you get to work on time, and you don’t take the day off just because work is too hard. 

So why aren’t you showing up for yourself with that same level of discipline?

Self-Discipline: The Antidote to Self-Sabotage

Even when your mind is trying to pull you back into familiar or destructive patterns, it’s self-discipline that gives you the ability to choose what’s best for your long-term happiness, even if it means temporary discomfort.

Self-discipline gives you the strength to see beyond the current moment, pushing you through the resistance so you can act in alignment with what you truly want. It’s committing to your goals and having the willingness to make the right choices, even when your motivation has worn off.

That’s the difference between self-discipline and willpower. Willpower is that quick burst of self-control that can help you make the right choice once, but it runs out quickly. Self-discipline is what keeps you focused on the bigger picture, reminding you that lasting change is the result of small consistent actions.

Let’s talk about some of the ways self-sabotaging behavior is showing up in your everyday life.

3 Self-Sabotaging Behaviors You Need to Give Up

1. Resorting to Short-Term Comforts: Comfort eating, impulse shopping, substance reliance, or wasting time on social media might offer temporary relief from the stresses of life, but they won’t fill a void. You’ll even find these self-sabotaging behaviors will eventually catch up with you and cause more harm to your future than any perceived “good” they brought you at the moment. That midnight snacking may not cause a problem until you realize your jeans are too tight. That stress shopping is fun until the credit card bill comes in. And what’s going to happen when your only way to deal with your stressful day is a third glass of wine? Self-sabotage is a sneaky thing and you may not even realize you’re doing it until the damage is done. 
2. Trading Long-Term Joy for Immediate Ease: It’s easy to stay in a comfortable but unfulfilling job, relationship, or routine because change feels overwhelming. But the reality is, those easy choices are holding you back from the life you really want. If you cling to unfulfilling things out of fear of change, you leave no room for you to attract the things you do want in your life.
   Having the courage and self-discipline to make the small changes that put you on the path to the future you want will allow you to live a life that aligns with your authentic self. Will the change be hard? Probably, but you’ll find living in mediocrity and settling for less than what you want even harder. Decide to make the small changes now that will lead to the great stuff later. 
3. Skipping Self-Reflection: Self-reflection is one of the most powerful tools you have for personal growth. If you’re not dedicating time every week to reflect on and learn from past choices, you’re at risk of repeating the same mistakes. Not reflecting is a form of self-sabotage that will keep you stagnant.
   Making time for introspection, even when it means facing your flaws, gives you an honest look at what you’re working with. It’s a chance to praise yourself for what you’ve done right and to recognize the areas that need some adjustment.

There are tons of little self-sabotaging habits that are playing out beneath the surface of your awareness. You need to learn to recognize what it is that’s holding you back and then give it up!

Action Step

This week’s challenge is about pinpointing a crutch you’ve been using to keep yourself in the safe cocoon of avoidance instead of facing the challenges that lead to real growth. 

1. Real-Time Reflection: Use a note on your phone for on-the-spot reflections since it’s always with you. Notice any time you engage in what could be perceived as a self-defeating thought or behavior. Did you just tell yourself, “I’ll do it later,” or decide to choose an unhealthy way of dealing with stress?  Record it and note the feeling you had when you made that choice. 
2. Tracking Triggers: At the end of the week go back over your notes and put them into these four categories: Stress, Self Doubt, Fear of Change, and Procrastination. Once you’ve sorted your notes, look for patterns. Which category shows up the most? This is likely the trigger that’s driving your self-sabotaging behavior. 
3. Give It Up to Level Up: In your most common category, list all the self-sabotaging habits that are holding you back from leveling up your life. Out of those habits, choose two you’re going to work on giving up. The first should be a short-term goal, one you quit cold turkey now, and the second one you’ll work on quitting over the long term. Write them down somewhere you’ll see them every day.

As you take on the challenges of this week, remember that you were born with the power of self-discipline. You just need to commit to using it. And the more you do, the easier it will be.

By giving up derailing behaviors, you’ll see the path to your dream life will be a whole lot shorter!