Can you name them?

Picture the front doors on your street.

The one to your left. The one to your right. The one across from you.

Can you name the people behind them?

If you can, good. Keep reading anyway. If you can’t, this one is for you.

You expect a cold reaction

Most of us avoid talking to people we don’t know. We assume they want to be left alone.

Researchers Nicholas Epley and Juliana Schroeder tested this on commuters in Chicago. They asked some riders to start a conversation with a stranger and others to sit in silence. Everyone predicted that silence would feel better.

They were wrong. The riders who talked reported a better ride.

Your fear of an awkward hello is a prediction. It is not a fact.

What a street does when things go wrong

In July 1995, a heat wave hit Chicago. More than 700 people died.

Sociologist Eric Klinenberg studied where they lived. Two neighboring areas had similar income and similar populations. One had a death rate about ten times higher than the other.

The difference was not money. In the safer area, people used the sidewalks. They knew the shop owners. They checked on each other.

When the heat rose, someone knocked on the door.

Your neighbors are your first responders

Robert Sampson led a study of 343 Chicago neighborhoods and more than 8,000 residents. He found that where neighbors trusted each other and were willing to step in, violence was lower.

He called it collective efficacy. It means people on a street believe they can act together.

That belief starts with a name.

I have lived in Chicago. I lived downtown, and I lived in Wrigleyville.

Chicago is a friendly city. It is a blue-collar city, and people talk to each other. They talk on the train, in line, and on the street.

That is how I move through the world. If you have ever been with me outside a ceremony, you know I talk to everybody. I ask how they are doing today. Then I listen.

Everyone has a message to share. You only hear it if you ask.

Chicago is also the city where those studies took place. Strangers on a train. Neighbors who checked on each other in a heat wave. It makes sense to me. I saw that connection before I read about it.

When did you last ask a stranger how their day was going, and wait for the answer?

How working with plant medicine opens this

When you work with Psilocybin, many people come out of the experience feeling more connected to others. Researchers at Imperial College London interviewed patients after psilocybin treatment for depression. Many described a stronger sense of connection to the people around them.

Then they go home and walk past their neighbors without a word.

When you work with Cacao, you see how little it takes. A warm cup. A few minutes. People who arrived as strangers start talking. You don’t need a ceremony to do that on your street. You need a kettle and a knock.

Try this week

• Write down the names of the people on your street. Leave blanks for the ones you don’t know.
• Knock on one door. Say, “Hi, I’m [your name]. I live next door and realized we never met.”
• Offer one small thing. Take in a package. Share extra food.
• Swap phone numbers with one person.

Something to listen to this week

Put on Bill Withers, “Lean on Me.” Let it play while you write your list.

Now we want to hear from you

How many neighbors can you name right now? Tell us the first new name you learn this week.

See you next Monday.